Stolen from CuteOverload.com. Please go watch it:
HIGH-larious. These guys have too much time on their hands...
Stolen from CuteOverload.com. Please go watch it:
HIGH-larious. These guys have too much time on their hands...
Including my weight:
Almost three pounds down. Could be water weight. But I prefer to think it's me making small changes that will add up to bigger losses over time. Because, as I've said before, I didn't get this way overnight.
Thank you, everyone who reads here, for your kind words and suggestions. They mean more than you think.
I've decided not to follow a "diet," so to speak. Mainly because I've already tried all of them. And look at me now. So instead, I'm going to focus on eating only whole foods. Nothing processed. I'm allowing myself a few things - whole grain bread, steel cut oats & pitas are still processed, right? I'm just going to try to eat limited amounts of those things. I've also mentioned here before an effort to eat mindfully, and with that in mind, I'm going to limit my meat consumption. I'm starting with red meat and pork, allowing myself fish and occasional chicken.
All this is going to make my life very much about food right now. Which is hard for most of us - our lives are way too busy to focus so much time and energy on what our next meal should be. But I'm going to try.
Breakfast will be the hardest, I think. I get up at 5am for work and have usually just gone to the cafeteria to grab eggs and turkey sausage. I'm going to try instead to bring my own. But what? Fruit? Plain yogurt? Boiled eggs? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Because beans for breakfast (my next thought) seem a little dodgy. Unless you're British. And who wants baked beans for breakfast? Especially if you're on a diet.
My mother has suggested I have lap band surgery. She's very focused on that right now. I'm not sure. It seems invasive and scary and all those horrible things you learn about as a healthcare worker. But, I've met several people who've done it and think it's the best thing ever. They're steadily losing weight, feeling better and able to exercise more freely. I think I'm kind of on the edge of it being medically acceptable - I'm considered obese, but my blood pressure isn't high and I don't have diabetes (or even pre-diabetes). I have back pain and low self esteem. Are those on the checklist?
In the meantime, I'm just going to exercise - something I'll admit I've not done ANY of for quite a while. When I was 25, I ran 5 miles a day. It's only 9 years later. How did I get here?
Knitting, you ask? I've had a case of startitis for the past YEAR. On the needles, I have a nearly finished October Frost, 60 percent of a Tangled Yoke Cardi, half a Nancy Bush-inspired sweater. But none of them look the least bit interesting to me (and, by the way, these are only the UFOs in plain sight - many others lurk on shelves and in storage). So, I can now add to that list a pair of Koigu Hedera socks, a Simple Knitted Bodice and a Hanami. Ugh. All of which are getting equal snippets of time.
So, there you have it. My current life on the page. Not so interesting. But mine.
My beauty products - even some of the ones I thought safe - are an abomination. Here's to clearing out the bathroom of toxins...
Some examples of the good and bad:
Aveeno Clear Complexion Daily Moisturizer - moderate hazard
Olay Body Quench Ultra Moisture for Extra Dry Skin - high hazard
Origins High Potency Night-A-Mins - high hazard
Zia Essential Eye Gel - moderate hazard (thank god for moderate...a 3 out of 10 score!)
Burt's Bees Lemon & Vitamin E Bath & Body Oil - low hazard*
DiorShow Mascara - high hazard (9 out of 10 - this stuff's never touching my eyes again...)
Cargo Duo Color Lip Gloss - moderate hazard
Tom's of Maine Antiplaque Plus Whitening Clear Gel - low hazard*
I really want to make Dulce de Leche. I have a big ol' stash of Rowan Bamboo Soft. I *think* that will work. Comments? Suggestions?
Also, thanks to everyone who commented yesterday. Can you tell I was a bit down? I'm going to be working on this, and enlisting all your help! Weigh Down '09 begins!
I need to write this. If I do, then perhaps I will have a virtual reminder that everyone I know who reads this will know the exact number.
You see, I was raised on lard and butter. And I like it. And I like foods that are not good for me. And I like to drink. And Splenda makes me throw up a little in my mouth. I collect cookbooks. I think a meal of cassoulet and french bread is a gift from the gods. Julia Child and Ina Garten are two rockin' bitches in my book. And my job is mentally and physically exhausting. And I really don't LIKE to exercise. It's a chore to me. And when something is a chore, I don't really do it all that much (if you want to truly believe that statement, come look at the state of my bathroom).
All this is to say that, over the past eight years, with the help of inactivity, a craving of french fries, periods of depression with resulting medications, school and my own apathy, I have gained 75 pounds. I thought I was heavy then, at 160. Now, as of this morning, I weigh:
I know I can't change this overnight. I didn't get this way overnight. But I need to try. My heart, my bones, my LOWER BACK, my whole body really needs some relief. And so does my psyche.
Please know that I'm NOT writing this for an apologetic and sympathetic response. I don't want pats on the head or reminders that I'm beautiful on the inside. I just felt like I needed to make it known to the internet galaxy so I'd have a level of accountability.
Enough is enough.
PS - I know... KNITTING BLOG. I'm still working on October Frost. I'm on the first sleeve. All other body parts complete. It's going to be really pretty, whenever I finish it. See Ravelry for proof of existence. Also, I bought five patterns today on Twist Collective. Those designs are bangin.'
As in, What Would You Do? That is, if the guy you like has said he won't marry outside his religion.* But the two of you have really good conversations and you make each other laugh. And you understand what each other does for a living and how hard that can be.
Also, it should be noted that I've tried to "fix" a guy in the past. And I tried to wait it out and see if a man would change his mind about important life issues. He didn't. I don't want to go there again.
Do I let this little crush go before it gets out of hand?
* I'm not talking about a crazy cult here. It's just Judaism.
Yeah, we pretty much floated into this little cloud on Monday and stayed under it until returning to New Orleans the following Sunday. It followed us around like Pig Pen's dust. I didn't get off the boat in Costa Maya, Mexico or in Belize because it was raining so hard you could barely see the shore. Some brave cruisers did it. I am not that brave cruiser. Plus, it was cold. And the boat had stuff to do. Like sleep. And drink. And go to the spa and have facials and massages.
The destination where I had the most fun was the one I least expected - Guatamala. It's really beautiful there. At least, as long as you're not in the cities, which look like every other city in Central America, with bad roads, dogs everywhere and houses without windows. It kind of makes you feel like a total ass to be riding around with a tour guide for the day, staring out the window with your expensive camera and expensive clothes and jewelry to see how the majority of people live. I need to stick to developed countries for my travel. Otherwise I'm just going to feel guilty for being able to afford to go on vacations to begin with... so, next trips? Buenos Aires, Edinburgh, Paris, Tokyo... here I come!
Some might find that statement trite but I've come to the conclusion that there is only so much a person can do in life for other people without completely losing themselves. And my job (40-50 hours a week!) is where I give every little bit of myself to other people. Don't get me wrong - I'm not burned out in my job. I freakin' LOVE my job. But it's all I can do. I cannot be actively involved in the saving of baby seals or the economic status of under-developed countries or the future of nuclear proliferation. I will give my monthly donations to various causes. I will continue to read the newspaper and books by Thomas Friedman and Jared Diamond. I will proudly and happily say "Yes, we can!" and really believe it. Because in my work, I CAN. But my own little piece of the world to save is the patients I care for. Or else my soul will quickly drain out of my body...
Wow. Where did THAT come from??? I didn't sit down to write that. It just sort of spilled out in that verbal diarrhea kind of way. So, blogging really is a bit soul-cleansing, no? Twenty-first century journaling, for the masses to see.
The first night on the boat, I did get a beautiful picture of the sunset. So, to end this post on a high note, here you go:
I finally photographed myself in my St. Brigid. My mom is visiting and it's snowing out. We went out for a bit and I decided to dress warmly for the occasion - hence my warmest, wooliest, bestest sweater ever. Then I realized - HEY... perfect snowy weather for some pictures.
Yes, I know this sweater is over a year old so this is a bit of a cheap shot and not a real post. I don't care. I rocked this sweater so hard and I'm prouder of it than anything I've ever made. So there. :)
For the record, today might have been the
personal handknit record - I wore four at once. Sweater, scarf, hat and mittens. Plus mom wearing another of the handmade hats. Here's some
evidence (mittens not visible; scarf not Raveled):
In much more current news, knitting continues on October Frost. The photo below is from a few weeks ago. It pretty much looks the same, though - just a few more repeats done. I'm not going to photograph again until I finish the back.
I also cast on for a Hemlock Ring blanket, using yarn that had been set aside for another purpose. It's my Othello, from Rhinebeck '07. Lovely yarn. Fabo blanket to be. It's going to be a long-term project...
As for the Carribbean, it was 70 degrees and raining with 14 foot swells. Awesome. So, no new freckles. But lovely massages and facials. And jewelry. I'll save those for another day. Plus some photographs from Guatamala. We went to a rain forest. It was, shockingly, raining.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King, Jr., August 28, 1963.
I have things to share. Actual knitting. With photographs and everything. First up, Demi. I've explained the fit issues. It is now proudly owned and frequently worn by Bridgette, who volunteered to be photographed so I could have proof of life.
Demi from Rowan Vintage Knits
7 skeins of 100% Cormo from Buckwheat Bridge Farms, purchased at Rhinebeck NY Sheep and Wool Festival 2007
Buttons from G Street Fabric
Modifications - nothing substantial.
Conclusion - Note to self - CHECK YOUR GAUGE. However, Bridgette loves the sweater dearly. It's really nice to have someone love and appreciate so much a garment that you've made. So, all in all, a great project. I'd definitely make another one, just not right now.
Next up, I decided to tackle some lace. I have a great deal of Rowan Yorkshire Tweed 4-Ply that I snatched up when Knit Happens was having a sale a few years back. It was mainly odds and ends - not enough to make a sweater in a full color, but it's been used for some really good projects in smaller quantities thusfar (such as Mist, the hat from Rowan Yorkshire Fable that I'm wearing in my profile photo).
One of the colors in which I had good yarnage (that was a typo, supposed to be "yardage" but I thought it was punny so I left it) is Enchanted. Lovely grey/lavendar tweedy goodness. I'd wanted to tackle lace and, having seen the MANY beautiful results on Ravelry, decided to cast on for the Shetland Triangle. Two weeks later, I had this:
Shetland Triangle from Wrap Style
5 skeins of Rowan Yorkshire Tweed 4-Ply in Enchanted, purchased from a Knit Happens fire sale. Unfortunately, when Rowan decided to consolidate and just sell their Scottish Tweed line, they discontinued this colorway and there is not a similar one now. That's a pity, because it's gorgeous.
Needles: Addi Lace, size 6
Modifications - 15 repeats of the pattern instead of the suggested 8 (different yarn, different needles, etc).
Conclusion - LOVE. IT. An incredibly easy pattern to memorize, with beautiful results. If I did it again, I would have made it larger. But those purl rows get a bit tedious and I was ready to be done with it. It's definitely more of a scarf than a shawl. But that's alright.
I've definitely been focusing on knitting with existing stash. I'm really proud of myself for that. I have a ridiculous amount of money invested in all the yarn I have right now and it sits around collecting dust. So, for the next several projects, I'll be knitting from stash (save one).
Marinating ideas include:
Valia from Twist Collective - I own the suggested yarn in that very colorway!
Hemlock Ring Blanket - already cast on in Buckwheat Bridge merino.
Magnolia from Rowan Vintage Style - finished the back. Problem - Rowan the cat loves Rowan the yarn. specifically Kid Classic. She's now obliterated two skeins. I'm wondering whether this yarn needs to be sacrificed to the kitty gods for the greater good...
Also, I'm loving what Ms. Punster did with Heroine from Twist Collective. Doesn't that look fabulous? I wouldn't have given that pattern a second glance before seeing hers. And I have that lovely Alchemy Lonestar that hasn't figured out what it wants to be... On the backburner, but definitely considered.
Finally, I'm anxiously awaiting a Christmas present to arrive in the mail. 10 skeins of Rowan Yorkshire Tweed Aran (SHOCKER) in Thistle. To be made into October Frost from A Fine Fleece. Any sweater designed with cables to resemble wise old trees is a-okay in my book.
This is likely the last update for awhile. Heading out Saturday morning for a family vacation in the Carribbean. Can't wait. Looking forward to soaking up some vitamin D.